Wrestlemania 23

This post is going to be a little strange; the only person who would remotely care about it might not want to read it because he might be coming to visit to watch the whole thing on tape. So Joe: read at your own risk.
Also: check my Flickr page for pics (not sure if they're legal though, so check 'em out while you can).

Wrestlemania! The flagship pay per view event of WWE. Let's check it out!

Money in the Bank Ladder Match (Ken Kennedy def. Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy/Edge/Fit Finlay/Booker T/CM Punk/Randy Orton)
This match was your standard ladder match spot-fest. Everybody hits their signature finishing moves in some way made more painful by the existence of a ladder. Edge is taken out on a stretcher after being eliminated by Matt and Jeff; Kennedy wins after everyone else is pretty much decimated. Crowd inexplicably cheers for the evil Kennedy. This begins the weird crowd reactions that would continue for the rest of the night. That's actually one problem with Wrestlemania; only the hardcore will stand in line to get tickets, so they often vote for the best wrestler as opposed to the "good guy."

The Great Khali def. Kane
BUILD-UP [These guys have been feuding for a while. I wasn't really looking forward to this because, while I really like Kane, Khali is a big slow guy with a weird-looking butt who I don't care about. Oh you may think that's a weird comment, but check out Google Images, the guy's butt is so weird.]
Two big slow guys throw a bunch of punches. It sucked but Kane bodyslamming the ginormous Great Khali was pretty cool. Khali wins with the Tree Slam.

US Championship (Chris Benoit def. MVP, Montell Vontavious Porter)
BUILD-UP [MVP has been dodging Benoit for weeks, and his way of trying to prove he's better than Benoit is by facing "world champions" but the champs are like "The Lichtenstein World Champion" and "The Ethiopian World Champion" who are all really skinny and easy to beat.]
Benoit wins as expected, but in much less convincing fashion. I expected Benoit to dominate but MVP outwrestled (!) Benoit in a couple spots. Benoit won with the Diving Headbutt. Will be interesting to see if they continue this feud.

World Championship (The Undertaker def. Batista)
BUILD-UP [These guys have been at each other's throats for over a month. I was very curious how they were going to play this since they're both fan favorites.]
The Undertaker has never lost a Wrestlemania match, so of course he was going to win here. The crowd was solidly behind The Taker here, which I thought was pretty awesome. Solid match, saw the Undertaker win with the Tombstone Piledriver.

The ECW Originals (Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu/The Sandman) def. The New Breed (Elijah Burke/Kevin Thorne/Matt Striker/Marcus Corvon)
BUILD-UP [The story is that The New Breed do not respect the ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) veterans. For those not in the know, ECW is a cult-favorite wrestling organization that existed during the 90s. They were bought out by WWE and re-launched as a WWE brand. The "Originals" are guys who were ECW wrestlers, and the "New Breed" are newer guys who were not a part of the original ECW; they are the bad guys in this.)]
Short but sweet match with a surprising lack of weaponry. Van Dam pinned Striker after the Five Star Frog Splash.

The Battle of the Billionaires (Bobby Lashley w/ Donald Trump def. Umaga w/ Vince McMahon, special referee Stone Cold Steve Austin)
BUILD-UP [This match got some mainstream media attention due to Trump's involvement. Basically the loser will get their head shaved, which is apparently a big deal since both are very proud of their coifs. They each picked champions to fight it out since they're old dudes and Trump probably doesn't know how to wrestle.]
This match was a lot of fun, as I expected. Ref got knocked out, Shane McMahon comes in to referee, delivers the Van Terminator to Lashley, etc. but in the end McMahon eats a Stone Cold Stunner and Lashley hits his Running Powerslam for the win. McMahon gets his head shaved.

Women's Championship Lumberjack Match (Melina def. Ashley Massaro)
BUILD-UP [Melina was angry that Ashley was getting more press from being in Playboy than Melina was from being the WWE Women's champion.]
A lot of people expected Ashley to win because she was just on the cover of Playboy, but Melina proved them wrong, winning with a rollup with a bridge. I've actually been really impressed with Melina as a wrestler, and I was happy to see her retain the title here. Hopefully she will go on to feud with an actual wrestler like Mickie James or Victoria as opposed to eye candy like Ashley.

THE MAIN EVENT
WWE Championship (John Cena def. Shawn Michaels)
BUILD-UP [Cena and Michaels are the Tag Team Champions, and kept refraining from fighting. But then last week Michaels hit Cena after a match with his signature move "Sweet Chin Music."]
An enjoyable match, but nonetheless your typical Cena match. Michaels dominated for most of the match, and Cena came back at the end to win via his STFU submission hold. This match, like last year's main event featuring Cena, was apparently held in Bizarro World. Cena, while not always the overwhelming fan favorite, was unanimously booed out of the arena tonight. DESPITE the fact that Michaels wrestled heel (wrestling speak for the fact that he sort-of-cheated and really stretched the rules) -- piledriver on the ring steps, choking Cena on the ropes, etc.

Overall I'm satisfied with the $50 I spent. All the wrestlers give their all at Mania, and this year was no exception. Not the best matches I've ever seen, but all had good build-up and none sucked.