(I apologize for my premature publishing of this post, as I am writing on a different computer than I am used to. Anyway...)
What was supposed to be an exciting day turned out to be not quite what I had expected. (I apologize as parts of the story become vague, but I do not want to disclose too much about the person involved. Suffice to say, I am referring to neither Keith, nor Jess.)
Today I had the opportunity to partake in an activity that I really enjoy with an old friend (The activity was not sex... I am married). What makes the activity the most fun is the fact that I am sharing the activity with that friend and that whenever we get together it is like we haven't missed a beat. Over the years I have always enjoyed being around this person, he/she is someone who I go to for advice, and is someone I truly admire.
Today however, was a different experience. I found out that my friend is having some major life issues (not health related) and for the first time I really saw this person in a vulnerable state. It was very strange for me and it made me feel very bad. All I wanted to do is help this person, but I felt like there was nothing I could say or do. It was even worse since this person has always been there for me. Again it was just a strange day that left me with a strange feeling. It is always unsettling when you go into what you think will be a familiar situation and something unexpected happens. Part of me feels bad for thinking about it in terms of how I feel and not about my friend, but trust me that I do feel bad about their situation. I am just trying to focus more on the oddness of the experience, as I find the whole thing upsetting.
A Strange Day (Take 2)
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5 comments:
It's hard to really comment because I don't know the details... but that does really suck.
Hmm. I keep trying to say something, but really, like you said, you were intentionally vague, so it's hard to really say anything. I guess that's it from me.
Well, maybe just this: On the bright side, at least your lack of "connection" this time was because of extreme circumstances, not just that you've suddenly grown apart. Most often, when people say that things are no longer "like they haven't misssed a beat," it's not something that comes back eventually. Hopefully, for you two, it will be.
Yeah, I think it will be fine. I think it has alot to do with the fact that there are some things that this person has never shared with me, as they have never really come up.
I think you get to know some people in such a way it is even a shock when you realize that there are things that are outside of your narrow relationship with someone.
Anyway, I just threw it out there. I know the lack of details makes it hard to comment. As for being on the same page, I will at least clarify that professionally and during the times that we are together, we are generally on the same page and I think that this will continue in the future. Yesterday was just strange and I was thrown off my game, so to speak.
Yeah, it is hard to comment because of lack of details, but I have a feeling I may (or may not) know who you are talking about. At any rate, I can imagine that that would be a surreal kind of experience. I am trying to think if there is anyone I am close to who I have never seen in a vulnerable state, who always seems to have it together at all times...and I can't really think of any friend who I have never seen in a vulnerable position. Interestingly, at the same time I dont think I have any friends who have not seen me fall apart either. :) I'm pretty good at it sometimes. :) The closest I can relate it to would be like a parent suddenly falling apart, and you having to be the stable one...which, I know is not the same thing at all, but it seems like maybe it might be along the same lines as to how it might make you feel. I'm not sure. Anyway, Joe, obviously, I wasnt there for the conversation and don't really know what took place, but I have a feeling you probalby handled it and were more helpful to her (him?) than you are giving yourself credit for. You tend to be extremely rational, tuned in, and calming in situations like that (in my experience anyway, especially over the past few years, and I'm sure its not only with me. :) Anyway, I hope things are ok with your friend.
By the way...the whole "getting together and not missing a beat thing..." reminds me of Brian's attachment theory class (and I didn't even take it. :)
I am now distrustful of any class or event that can be broken down neatly into little sound bites or catch phrases.
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