Detroit Sucks!

Ok,

So for those who did not know, I drove up to Michigan on Saturday to attend Cat's Grandmother's memorial service. It actually went very well, albeit a little rushed considering that we left Saturday afternoon and returned Monday night.

Anyway, around hour 8 of the drive (roughly 11:45 pm), we were closing in on the destination of Auburn hills just north of Detroit. Thanks to a combination of using Mapquest (which is usually not bad for us usually), not pre-reading the directions to cross-reference with reality, and the incompetence of the State of Michigan, we ran into a problem...

While on I-75 going through Detroit, the directions told us to get off on the exit for I-96 for 2 miles, then merge onto I-96 for a few miles more. Unfortunately there were a few things I didn't know, the least of which was that the next direction said to merge back onto I-75 for a net savings of 1 theoretical mile.

Regardless of this, what I was not informed of prior to merging onto I96 was that the next 5 miles of exit ramps off the highway would be CLOSED!!! Although I have my theories, I am not certain why these exit ramps were closed, as there seemed to be no construction.

Again, moving on, it now became clear that we needed to scrap the whole 96 to 94 experiment and return to 75 and just continue north. When we did find an exit, I realized a few things.

a) I was in what can only be described as the GHETTO!!!! I mean, I would rather have had a picnic in both Harlem and east Baltimore at midnight, than be where I was at that moment.

I also found out that b) not only were the off ramps of that highway closed, the on-ramps going back to 75 were closed too, leaving me to drive past the likes of "Norm's liquor to go." I contemplated not stopping at red lights due to fear for my life.

But wait, There's more!!!

After following the detours back to where I began, we had a new problem... We couldn't actually locate the entrance to 75. What we found instead was the motor city casino, which we didn't choose to visit.

At this point, I knew I needed directions, so instead of going to a seedy gas station, I figured I would stop at a Ramada and ask there. Hmm.... maybe not the best decision.... When I went there, I quickly noticed a sign indicating that, "This ramada is independently owned and operated and not affiliated with Ramada international." (bad sign). I then noticed women walking by with what I suspect were battery operated shirts with bright neon signs on the front. (not exactly a high class establishment). When I did get to the guy at the front desk, after seeing some hillbillies argue with him about their room, the clerk looked at me, like I could have asked him how to get from here to Alaska. ("Go down the street and down a ramp..." "What street?, where is this ramp?" I ask. No response).

Well, to make a long story only slightly longer, an hour and half into the ordeal, we made it back to I 75 and made it to the holiday inn... BUT WAIT!!! Apparently our directions were to a different holiday inn and we had to travel another 10 miles to get there. BUT THEN, we made it! Safe and Sound.

The end.